Saturday, February 10, 2007


In biology,
Love is an affliction, complete with side effects

In the movies,
Curt exchanges and a glimpse of a lady’s glove

Plato believed we were pulling our halves together

In the Bible, God is love

I do not know what love is

But I would like to think it’s a secret shared
Whispered little by little over time

Do you want the long version or the short?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey -- brave of you putting your poetry out there. My job is to study and teach literature (and poetry) so I thought I could give you few helpful hints:
1) Read your poems out loud. Where do you want the reader to pause (usually expressed in a line break) in terms of sound, image. It seems to me that you are writing things visually, when it might be helpful to write them with sound in mind.
2) Make many many drafts of poems. Like any fine piece of writing, you should do several edits. Does that word need to be just there? Do you really need that "and" in there? Your writing seems to tend to wordiness -- simplify.
3) Avoid images that are overused, cliched. Love is a tricky thing to write about because you are up against thousands of years beautifully shaped phrases (i.e. "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways . . ."
4) Keep at it. Revisit pieces that you wrote last month, last year. What can be changed? What should be kept? Editing work once time has passed makes seeing necessary changes a lot easier.

Good luck and happy writing!